For all those who have known me for a while and have been on my blog before, this is yet another blog post sharing how I am starting with blogging again. But before we go further, for everyone else, let us go through my blogging journey. How I started with blogging, the problems I faced, the adrenaline it gave me and why I stop blogging every once in a while. I will be sharing everything and will be transparent with everything.
The Journey
I started with my very first blog post in 2018 when I came to know about this online summer training programme while I was searching for summer internships and training programme during my college years. That was one amazing day and my life took a turn I never imagined. I learned so many things with the training from many mentors I never even met. One of the most lesson that we were taught was about communication skills (verbal, non-verbal etc.).
And as homework in order to start working on our communication skills, we had to create a blog which I did and write a blog post on anything, anything that you can start your blogging journey with. I wrote my first blog on my first ever meetup experience at Pydelhi in 2018 (about which I also learned on the channel #dgplug itself)
I remember, how it felt, pressing the publish button the very first time and reading the reviews from my peers on my blog. That very blog post triggered a spark in me to write more and more. Anything I learn and everything I want to learn. I used to type titles on what to write blog about and how to make it a series of blog post. Writing on a blog sparked something in me, something that wanted to share with the world, everything I know, I want to know and what I think. It sparked the story teller in me.
But as the idea in my head starts to overwhelm my capacity to write with perfect story, perfect grammar (since I didn't want to publish something that is not "perfect"), I tend to put those blog posts in draft and leave them incomplete. (Many of them still exists in my draft folder)
Then one day, I came to realise about this very fact and wrote a blog post on this situation impromptu sharing how in attempt to write a perfect article, share a perfect story, I am blocking myself from writing and improving my skills anyway. The other reason for not able to write that frequent was inavailability of my laptop with me when I get an idea to write an article about and when I had my laptop, I didn't have the same enthusiasm to write which I used to have when that idea sparked in me.
To resolve the second issue (inavailability of my system), I published my own blog using github pages and envisioned to access the repository from any system, update and publish the article I want. Even If I end up not publishing, I started writing more articles. I still haven't published many of them, but atleast I started writing more. Though this didn't go for long and I didn't write as many blog posts as I had in my college years.
Then the life took a major turn (hopefully for good), I was graduated but deviated from my plans for myself. I ended up struggling for many reasons and it took me a long time to recover.
Something changed! Something changed in me after all the things I had faced. It's not easy to face yourself when you are unable to meet your own plans or goals you aspired. It's one thing to disappoint your parents. Your parents may have different hopes for you than you do for yourself and you may end up disappointing them but if you are able to meet your hopes, atleast you end up satisfied.
I wasn't as optimistic as I used to be. My perspective on world changed so much that I stopped recognizing myself for few months. I don't think I can be as optimistic again, but atleast I am afloat with more realistic perspective on life.
I stopped writing, stopped sharing anything with anyone, isolated myself from pretty much everyone. It took me a while to gather enough courage to break the loop and make the next move. Before all this, I always had a plan for when if this doesn't work in life, I will do this and so on. But, when everything started to fail and you are not even close to your dreams and you know you have missed the last train. I stopped trying to go anywhere. I am not trying to go anywhere even now. I dropped all my hopes for myself (since I hoped too much for myself and didn't have much support) and trying to take small steps in hope to find the lost hope in me again.
But I also realised that nothing can be done if I don't do anything and I have to take the first step. I have to find another route to my dreams/goals, find the next train, maybe not to where I want to go, but atleast somewhere. It's not safe for me to stay here (not growing). It's difficult and I know it.
This time, reviving my blog is the first step in order to find the lost me. Also, since I am not planning anything for myself and dropped all the current plans I made earlier in life, I have lots of time (though I end up reading less than I used to, watched less TV than I used to and end up learning even less, maybe because my outlook changed a lot and so my passion for many things) and I hope to use that well. But I am expecting anything out of it. If it goes well, great and if it doesn't, I had nothing to loose now anyway, right?
This time, I am going to do what I always wanted to do. Write about stuff I love, no pressure, no goals, no fear of judgement, privacy invasion issue etc.
Earlier I end up writing less, since I am a freak and didn't want to spread more my digital footprint. I bought a server, domain and hosting the blog on my own, keeping control of my data and platform.
